X-Entertainment | Spider-Man Reviews Crayons Part 3

By heather at 8:04 pm on Thursday, January 18, 2007

I just laughed & laughed when I read this article at X-entertainment. Here are a few of the highlights of the article…but the 3-part Crayola Crayon review is worth a read if you’re a Spidey & colouring fan like me.

Yo, you know what’s mellow about this yellow? NOTHING….

Oooh hooo hooo oooh ooh! Something under the covers is tickling me! I wonder what it could be! “Tickle Me Pink!” Oooh hoo hoo hoo! What a funny crayon this is!….

“Bittersweet” and “Burnt Orange” both sound like vetoed Lipton Tea varieties, but they’re great whenever you need to color in a sunlit boat or a group of pesky armadillos. I like them because they’re both brown crayons that start with a “B” but neither of them are actually called brown. I don’t know if that’s irony or heaven in a wax…..

“Brick Red!” Like your house! If it was made of red bricks and just those. Also gotta mention that “Brick Red” has always been one of my favorites. My vermilion vindicator has long supplied the bloodshed for the varied alien creatures I’ve drawn and then destroyed. You know my suit, you know the truth. “Brick Red” is…my power color.

Hey hey let’s knock out four at once because it’s 10:20 and Spidey’s gonna miss whatever comes on at 10:30. “Plum” is a happy ol’ purple, a purple so deep I theorize that a pinch of eternal darkness is dripped into each big wax vat used to make “Plum” Crayola crayons. And I know they use big wax vats because Sesame Street did that short documentary once about crayon factories. I loved it when the Count counted. “Turquoise Blue” sounds expensive and looks expensive. I use it to color in everything I hold of great meaning. In my coloring books all the good stuff is “Turquoise Blue.” “Orchid” isn’t without its charm, but I like “Magenta” better. This says a lot, because I don’t even like “Magenta” much. I just hate “Orchid…..”

We’re down to the last two crayons and…Oh. Oh my. Oh my GOD! It’s them! They’re here!

SILVER AND GOLD! THE SPECIAL CRAYONS! THE SPARKLING PRECIOUS ONES! I CAN’T MAKE ROBOTS WITHOUT THESE!

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